A guy was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend came to visit him.

The guy struggles to tell his friend, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."

"What does she read?" the friend asks.

"My life insurance policy."

A Pastor said to a six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"