Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"
Replied the second, "You know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work? Well, my foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."
A pedantic bore forced a conversation with a fellow passenger on a coast to coast flight, and made a great parade of his knowledge. The passenger listened as long as he could. Looking at him gravely, he said, "My friend, you and I know all that there is to know."
"How is that?" asked the bore, pleased with what he thought was a complimentary association.
"Well," began the traveler, "you know everything there is to know except that you are a bore, and I know that."