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Favorite this joke Patient: Doctor, I think I'm suffering from lack of memory.
Doctor: How long have you had this problem?
Patient: What problem is that?
Why are kindergarten teachers so optimistic?
Because every day they try to make the little things count.
Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy.
Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking.
Patient: I don't drink and have never touched a drop in my life.
Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking.
Patient: I don't smoke either doctor.
Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.
Patient: Good heavens! I haven't had a girlfriend in my entire life.
Doctor: Your problem is you have no problems! Get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, find a girlfriend or two, and then you will be alright.
A lady goes to customer service and asks for a refund on the disposable barbecue she has brought back to the store.
Assistant: "What seems to be the problem, madam?"
Lady: "The food is missing."
Assistant: "I'm sorry?"
Lady: "Look, on the outside of the packaging it clearly shows sausages, chops and burgers. When I opened the package they were missing."
Assistant: "Madam, it says ""contents for illustration purposes only". You have to supply the food."
Lady (somewhat sheepish): "Oh. I may as well take the other two barbecues out of the freezer, then."
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