Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Grandfather: Back in my day we didn’t need all these fancy gizmos for entertainment. We had a cardboard box and played with it for hours; now that’s real fun!
Grandson Billy: Really ?!?!
Billy’s mother: Yes Billy, of course they had fun. We are talking about a generation of kids who also ate mud pies!
Oakland Raiders football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
Practice was immediately suspended while the Drug Enforcement Agency was called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the DEA determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the DEA agents decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.
If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
That's me, the copilot, and one of the stewardesses. This is a recording."
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was not feeling well and could not make it to church to, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. Should we teach him a lesson?"
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup, three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to teach him a lesson?"
God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
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