Latest Jokes

What would happen if Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton married each other?

For the first time in history, the White House would demand a very large security deposit.

If a rooster laid an egg on the top of the roof, which way will the egg fall if the wind is blowing west?


Answer: Roosters do not lay eggs.

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This," he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it."

A smart-aleck who ran a humor mailing list stepped forward and asked, "Where is my father?"

There was the soft hum of powerful electronic gear going to the task. Panel lights lit and blinked, and within a couple of seconds the laser printer printed out a piece of paper: "Fishing off Florida."

The smart-aleck laughed, "Actually, my father is dead! It was a trick question."

The salesman, quickly thinking on his feet, replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Ultimate Computer was precise, perhaps a rewording of the question might work better.

The smart-aleck said to the Ultimate Computer, "Where is my mother's husband?" Again, the hum of the powerful electronic brain filled the room.

After a moment, the laser printer whirred to life. The paper said, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Florida."

Why are boardwalk models so thin?

It's so the outfit will look the same when you see it on a clothing hanger at the store.