Latest Jokes

Q: If you're stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would you most want to have?

A: Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a gold medal on a stick.

I quit my job at the helium gas factory...

I didn't like being spoken to in that tone of voice.

I told my friend that my wife and I had a huge argument and she left for the Caribbean.

"Jamaica?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "she went of her own accord."

I live across the street from a crematorium.

What I want to know is, why do they have a delivery truck drop off marshmallows every morning?