Latest Jokes

A neighbor asked his friend, who was celebrating 50 years of marriage, what the secret was to a long and happy marriage?

His friend replied, "When we were first married, we vowed to go out twice a week no matter how little money we had and we have done so for 50 years."

"Twice a week, you say?"

"Yeah. She goes out on Tuesday and I go out on Friday."

I found an ugly creature dead in my son's bedroom. My son said it was an alien brain sucker.

Apparently it starved to death.

My doctor told me that I have a condition known as narco-somnia, which has symptoms of both narcolepsy and insomnia.

That's probably why I always sleep with one eye open.