Latest Jokes

An author wrote a novel and sent it off to a publisher. The publisher held on to the hard copy so long, that termites got into it.

In the final analysis, the book was rejected. The story line had too many holes in it.

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and she asked what their names were. The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLOOOOO," answered the friend. "They're watch dogs!"

Marvin has a binging problem which happens to him every year the day after Thanksgiving.

"Why must you gorge yourself on leftovers?" his wife asked. "Don't you have any self-control?"

"What are you worried about?" Marvin replied. "I can quit cold turkey!"

Did you hear about the angry fly that sat on the toilet seat all day long?

He finally got peed off.