Latest Jokes

My girlfriend’s father wants her to marry a man of means. He said he would give me her hand in marriage if I can afford to burn ten thousand dollars as if it were nothing.

Without hesitation I wrote a check for ten grand and burnt it right before his eyes.

I’m still single.

While sitting through an exceptionally long sermon, little Donny was getting more restless by the minute. Suddenly in a loud whisper, he blurted out, "If we give him the money now, do you think he will let us leave?"

My mother-in-law sent me two sweaters for Christmas.

When she came for a visit, I put on one of the sweaters.

The first thing she said was, "What's the matter? Didn't you like the other one?"

A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.

"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"

Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."