Latest Jokes

(Husband to wife) If I could write a check for a million dollars, I could afford to be eccentric.

(Wife) Keep working at it honey, at this point in time you can only afford to be delusional.

A man goes into a patent office. He tells the clerk that he’s invented a baseball bat that dings when you hit the ball.

The clerk yells into the back room, "Hey Frank, it’s your turn, we have another 'ding bat'!"

I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity.

Now I have $2,999,999.75!

Why did the man run around his bed?

To catch up on his sleep!