Latest Jokes

A lot of people are afraid of heights...

Not me, I'm afraid of widths!

"Quick! Call a tree surgeon!"

"Why?"

"My maple tree is bleeding!"

"That's not blood, that's sap."

"What's sap?"

"Nothing. What's sap with you?"

A guy asked his lawyer, "If I pay off crooks, is it illegal?"

The lawyer replies, "Yes, you'd be involved in a conspiracy."

"Good," said the man, been looking for a way to avoid paying my taxes!

I just received a letter from the IRS claiming I wasn’t honest on my tax return. I wrote them back saying if you want honesty, the next time you write start the letter out by saying “stick em up”!