Latest Jokes

$5.00 won 2 votes

Let the Wookiee win. While you're at it, let the Wookiee have the right of way in traffic. If they tip badly, do not complain. If the Wookiee does not return library books right on time, do not fine them. If they take food from your refrigerator, just let it go. Finally, if the Wookiee is your customer, remember that the customer is always right.

2 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Alan" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is soaked in the blood and tears of the innocent.

2 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $5.00
posted by "Krunkmaster" |
1 votes

When you combine "Red Dawn" with "Blue Velvet," do you get "Purple Rain"?

1 votes

posted by "Alan" |
2 votes
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After an elderly couple starts getting forgetful, they visit their doctor. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.
When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," says the husband. "I can remember a dish of ice cream."
"Well, I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it," the wife replies.
"My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."
He goes into the kitchen, and his wife hears pots and pans banging.
The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

2 votes

posted by "Dmitri" |