Latest Jokes

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."

"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

I saw some footage from Scotland showing the Loch Ness monster actually posting something on MySpace.

It is obviously a fraud. NO ONE uses MySpace anymore.

Today I turned on the television and saw commercials...

Every now and then they were interrupted by some Olympics coverage.

Question: Why should you never ask a skeleton to change a light bulb?

Answer: Cause no body will show up.