I notice a lot of people at funerals will say something like, "It's a shame his life had to end so early."
So, I started saying the same thing at weddings.
Two scouts were making a lot of noise on a field trip. The scout master asked them to "please not yell" and to "go find firewood".
One scout turned to the other and said, "I’ve heard of this before, something about 'talk softly and carry a big stick!'"
(Father) Your mother tells me your first prom dance is coming up!
(Son) Yes, but I don’t think I’m going. What if I ask a girl and she says no?
(Father) Son, never fear rejection. Just keep asking until some nice young lady accepts your invitation.
(Son) Did you go to your first prom dance?
(Father) I sure did and I never let rejection hold me back!
(Son) Does this mean the first girl you asked said no?
(Father) Yes. In fact, many said no but I didn’t give up.
(Son) Did you have fun?
(Father) I sure did! And if you don’t believe me, ask your Aunt Suzy, we had a ball.
Nostradamus made note that his prophesies came to him in bilateral form. He would first imagine the future in written word followed by visuals of the event some time after. Recently in France a secret chamber was discovered in the former residence of Nostradamus, proving his bilateral claim to be true.
Researchers found a waste paper basket with a single wad of paper in it which read:
There will be three beloved men who will come to power in the same century. These men will be called Chuck E Cheese, Ronald MacDonald and some guy named Jack.
Apparently after receiving the visuals, he decided to scrap this particular prophecy.