Latest Jokes

$5.00 won 1 votes

An Amish dad and his son were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an 80 year old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a 24-year-old girl stepped out. The dad said, I’m getting in.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $5.00
posted by "ltsai" |
0 votes
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There was a kid who wouldn't learn the letters of the alphabet, so his teacher said 'go home, and learn the letters!' He went home and asked his sister
"What's the first letter?"
She said "Shut up!"
Then he asked "what's the second letter?"
She was singing along with the radio, so she said "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Then he went to see his dad, who was watching football, and said "What's the third letter?"
His dad said "Go! Go! Go!"
"What's the fourth letter?"
"64! 64! 64!" Then he went to see his brother, who was watching TV, and said "What's the sixth letter?"
His brother ignored him while watching TV and said "na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"

The next day the teacher said. "Okay, what's the first letter?"
"Shut up!"
"Are you trying to get in trouble?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Go! Go! Go!"
"How many spankings do you want?
"64! 64! 64!"
"Who do you think you are?"
"na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"

0 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "ltsai" |
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A visitor comes into a Maryborough pub with a tame crocodile at his heels and ordered a drink. The locals looked at the crocodile and it suddenly went up to someone's hat, which was sitting on a chair, and chewed it to shreds.
The hat's owner shouted at the visitor, "Hey look at what your crocodile has done to my hat."
The visitor replied, "That's too bad!" The hat owner got angry and said, "I don't like your attitude!"
The visitor replied, "It's not my (h)at (h)e chewed - it's your hat he chewed!"

0 votes

posted by "Gordon03" |
3 votes
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MAN: I Have Facebook, BBM, KIK, Imo, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype, Snapchat, Instagram and G-Talk
FRIEND: Buddy, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No I don't! Send me the link to download it.

3 votes

posted by "adedayomoshood" |