Q: If April Showers bring May Flowers, What Do May Flowers Bring?

A: Pilgrims.

Three Elderly Sisters live in a huge two story house. Martha is upstairs and is going to take a bath. She yells down and asks, "Dorthy, was I getting in the tub or out?"

Dorthy replies, "You were getting in the tub!"

The second old lady walks up to the foyer stairway and stops. She looks up and then she says, "Dorthy, was I going upstairs or just coming down?"

Dorthy replies, "Mary, you were going up stair!" After a slight pause, Dorthy continues, "God Help me." She then knocks on the table twice with her fist and then says, "Was that the front door or back?"

There is a rookie pilot and a co-pilot and they are coming in for a landing. The pilot says, "Damn that runway is small, give me 1/4 flaps."

As they get closer the pilot says, "Damn that's a small runway, give me 1/2 flaps."

As they're coming in closer the pilot again says, "Damn that's a small runway, give me FULL FLAPS!"

After they land the plane safely the pilot says, "That's the smallest runway I've ever landed on."

Then the co-pilot says, "Yes it is, but look it how wide it is."