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Favorite this joke When eating out, 3 guys will each throw in $20, even though the bill comes out to $31.20. None of them will carry anything other than a $20 bill and none will actually admit they want change back.
When 3 ladies get their bill... OUT COME THE CALCULATORS!
A cop breaks up a fight by two invisible men.
As the crowd gathers, he shouts, "Move along, folks. There's nothing to see here!"
While at the casino, I remembered the sign that said: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
4. Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
6. Your rob Peter... and then rob Paul.
7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
9. Your bologna has no first name.
10. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.
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