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Favorite this joke A Marine private was filling out a questionnaire for a correspondence course.
He got to this question: "How long has your present employer been in business?"
He thought for a moment, then wrote: "Since 1775."
During a 50th anniversary wedding celebration, the father of the bride was asked to give a brief account of the benefits achieved from being married for so long.
He stood up, thought for a long moment, then said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness, and...." he paused.
"And?" someone cried out from the back of the room.
"... and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!"
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
A Grandmother asked her teenage grandson to lightly water the plants outside in the backyard, but to not wet the grass because the younger grandchildren wanted to go out to play in the yard. She didn't want the yard to be muddy for them to walk through. The teenage grandson happily said he understood and went outside to begin watering the plants.
A few moments later the Grandmother looked out the window and was surprised to see her teenage grandson using the water hose to spray water all over the grass in the yard. She ran outside to ask him why he was soaking the grass in water, causing the entire yard to turn muddy.
He replied, "To rinse the morning dew off the grass so it won't be wet when the kids come out to play."
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