Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke When you know it's time for a new car when...
- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.
- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.
- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."
- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.
- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
- Evel Knievel refuses a free lift.
- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.
- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.
The teacher asked her students which state they thought has the most cows. A little girl raised her hand and said Texas.
The teacher said, "That is right, you get an 'A'. Now which state do you think has the most sheep?"
A little boy raised his hand and said Montana. The teacher said, "That's right, you get an 'A'. Who can tell me which state has the most turkeys?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, that's easy, "Washington D.C.!"
The teacher gave him an A+.
Husband: Tell me what you'd like for your birthday.
Wife: Frankly, I'd like a divorce.
Husband: Yikes! I wasn't planning on spending that much!
An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients:
“How much will the anesthesia cost?”
“Oh, about $100.00. $1.00 to go to sleep and $99.00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package.”
Free Daily Joke