Latest Jokes

A chicken, a tomato, and a potato with a patch over one eye walked into a restaurant for breakfast.
The server came over to their table and said we’ve got chicken friend steak, hard boiled eggs with hash browns and V-8 on special.

After a moment of silence the chicken turned to the tomato and the potato with a patch over his eye and said, "You were right, we should have gone to the waffle house."

Two dogs wearing their finest collars entered a bar.

After ordering they noticed that all the other dogs in the bar were not wearing collars.

That's when they realized they were in a STRAY BAR.

After a very passionate sermon the preacher was standing at the door to greet the departing congregation when one very upset lady said, "Pastor, I am very disappointed in your sermon...you said the word 'damn'."

"Oh," said the Pastor. "I am sorry if I offended you. What did I say just before that word?"

"I don't remember," she said.

"Well, what did I say after that word?"

"I don't remember," she said.

"I guess it was good that I used that word or you would not have heard ONE WORD I said."

Two women are standing in line to pay their bill at a restaurant. As soon as it's their turn, they hand the young waitress a credit card.

After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, "Mr. Andrews, what do I do if it says 'rejected'?"

As the women's faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Andrews walked out from the kitchen.

"Well," he answered, wiping his hands, "the first thing you DON'T do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking of leaving you a tip."