Latest Jokes

Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf.

At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got the pretty girls there."
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 40 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 50 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.”
”OK.”

At age 60 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Wings are half price.”
“OK”

At age 70 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”
“OK.”

At age 80 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“We’ve never been there before."

Did you hear about the ninety-two-year old man who married a woman of eighty-four?

They spent their entire honeymoon getting out of the car.

My grandma has always been interested in technology, so when I got my new smart phone, she wanted me to show her some of its features.

The first thing I demonstrated to her is how to change the screen by swiping it.

I haven't seen grandma or my phone since.

A boy was talking to his kindergarten friend at recess. He said, "When I grow up I want to be the big bad wolf."

"Why?" asked his friend.

"Because I want to deliver presents to kids all over the world on Christmas," he replied.

Looking puzzled his friend said, "I believe you’re thinking of Santa Claus."

"Nope," he replies, "it’s the big bad wolf. How else are you going to put presents in locked houses?"

"Then what does Santa Clause do?" asked the friend.

"Santa puts money under your pillow if you lose a tooth. Next recess I’ll tell you how Little Red Riding hood met the three bears. Oh and why the Easter Bunny hangs out with the three little pigs who went wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"It’s easy, mom makes my dad read to me every night."