Latest Jokes

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor.

The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. "It was the darndest thing... it was the darndest thing," she kept repeating dazedly.

"What was the darndest thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers.

"I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath and all I did was pull the plug and the whole house suddenly drained away."

Frankenstein and Count Dracula had a boxing match scheduled in which they were going to throw the fight. This was so Dracula could win in order to pay off a debt to the mafia. Frankenstein was heavily favored and the mafia were betting on him so they could increase the debt Dracula owed and further put pressure on him.

The bell rung and out came the two combatants. Not ten seconds went by when Frankenstein hit the mat. "Would you look at that," said one spectator. "Frankenstein was barely touched and now he's lying on his back."

"Dracula is dancing the victory dance around him!" yelled another. "The referee's already up to 8."

"This looks highly suspicious to me," said a third. "I think Frankenstein's down for the Count!"

I was going to join the debate team, but somebody talked me out of it.

A lawyer returns to the parking lot to find his sports car with the headlights broken and considerable damage to the front end.

There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper: "Sorry, I just backed into your car. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and phone number. But I'm not."