1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
4. Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
6. Your rob Peter... and then rob Paul.
7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
9. Your bologna has no first name.
10. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.
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