My girlfriend always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator...
I guess we are raised differently.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because today they got into a fight and 2021...
The cowboy ordered a steak at a restaurant and it was served rare, very rare. He looked at it and ask that it be returned to the kitchen and cooked.
The chef came out to inform him that the steak was cooked.
"Cooked? You call this cooked? I've seen cows hurt worse than this and they get well."
A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.
The teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"
Grandpa replies, "Nope."
"Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"
"A wedding ring."