Latest Jokes

A woman with a minor injury was at the hospital because her doctor said she wanted to take a closer look at it to make sure everything was all right. The woman's husband sits patiently in the waiting room.
After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.

Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room, this time asking for a screwdriver. The husband grows worried and begins to pace in circles. Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer and at that, the husband, in a state of frenzied fear, runs up and asks, "Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?"

"I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my bag open!"

A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.

He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at him in his 18th-century garb he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"

A man driving by an insane asylum got a flat in his front right tire. He took off his tire and put the lug nuts in the wheel cover. As he rose he accidentally kicked the wheel cover and all the lug nuts went into a deep ditch. Looking in disgust he noticed an inmate at the asylum watching him through a chain link fence.

The man shouted out, "Why don't you take a lug nut from the other three wheels and use them to replace the lug nuts you lost?"

The driver said, "That's a great idea!"

The man replied, " Well I may be crazy, but I am not stupid."