Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes that are clearly undersized for him. The salesman says, "But, sir, I can see from up here that you'll need much bigger shoes than that."
The guy says, "That's OK, please bring me the smaller ones."
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, "Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?"
He says to the salesman, "I work a boring job, my mother-in-law has just moved in with us, my wife is nagging all the time, and our daughter does nothing but run around screaming the whole day. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these tight shoes."
This story takes place at a large valley. On one side of the valley lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfast of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit. "Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"
"Not now! I'm eating."
"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."
"No way."
"Please. It's urgent."
So the bear decided to go all the way over to the other side of the valley. It took him half a day, he was exhausted. When he finally got there he was groaning and out of breath.
"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"
"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the valley."
It's so hot here where I live in Florida, that I walked to the store and bought some cookie dough ice cream, and by the time I got home it was cookies.
I saw a commercial on late night TV. It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers."
So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were.
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