Latest Jokes

Worrying works...

90% of the things I worry about never happen!

A lion was stalking through the jungle one day when he came across a bull. The lion and the bull got into a tremendous battle, but in the end the lion killed the bull and ate him up. The lion was so pleased with himself that he threw back his head and roared and roared. The noise attracted a hunter who followed the sound until he found the lion. The hunter took aim and killed the lion with a single shot.

Moral: When you are full of bull, it’s wise to keep your mouth shut.

I was in a liquor store and the owner asked me, "Do you need help?"

I replied, "Yes, but I’ll have a bottle of whisky instead."

Cabin temperature: 72 degrees
Stewardess: “Complimentary blanket, sir?”
Traveler: “No way, I’m boiling in here!”

Cabin temperature: 68 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $5!”
Traveler: “Nah, I’m warm enough, thanks!”

Cabin temperature 64 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $20!”
Traveler: “No thanks, I’m tough!”

Cabin temperature 60 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $50!”
Traveler: “Yeah, ok, I’ll take 3!”