Latest Jokes

2 votes
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Him: "My mother told me that every time you have an impure thought, an angel smacks you on top of the head."

Her: "That would explain why so many men go bald!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Dansei59" |
$12.00 won 9 votes

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But Mom, I was sitting on Daddy's lap!

9 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
2 votes
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An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.

When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.

"What happened, mother?" the daughter asked.

"I had to slap his face three times!"

"You mean he got fresh?"

"No," she answered. "I had to wake him up. I thought he was dead!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes
 

A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town.

A rancher rode past.

"Say, friend," called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next town?"

"Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered.

"How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly.

"Oh, a good two miles."

A nearly half hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher. "Hey, how far's the next town?"

"Not far," was the encouraging answer, "only about two miles."

"Well," sighed the optimistic sergeant, "thank God, we're holding our own, anyhow!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |