Latest Jokes

1 votes

Josh was helping Sally, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside.

Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.

She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."

Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"

Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."

1 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

Upon retiring, a woman decided to fulfill her lifelong dream and live abroad. As part of her preparations, she visited her doctor to pick up her medical records. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so with a sigh, she reported a litany of symptoms, this aches, that's stiff, I'm not as quick as I used to be, and so on.

He responded with, "Mrs. Dickson, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to be a hundred?"

Mrs. Dickson looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's ninety-nine."

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 2 votes

I’ve just reset my password to DelicateLuggageHandler...

I was told it had to be case-sensitive.

2 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
2 votes

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured!"

2 votes

posted by "merk" |