Wanna have a little fun?
Go to an antique store and ask, "What's new?"
"If you could choose drinking wine every day or being skinny which would you choose?"
"I'd choose red or white."
A housewife answered the door bell to find two beggars outside. "So you're begging in two's now?" she asked.
"No, only for today," one of them replied. "I'm showing my replacement the ropes before going on vacation."
I used to work in the woods as a lumberjack...
But just couldn't hack it...
So they gave me the ax!