Latest Jokes

A man had just bought a parrot at an auction after some very spirited bidding.

"I suppose that bird talks?" he said to the auctioneer.

"Talks!" was the reply. "Who do you think was bidding against you?"

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he's sitting down, he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, "I'll have another waterloo."

The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Thinking the other man's drink may be a specialty of the house, he says, "I'll have a waterloo, too."

The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and the customer takes a big drink. "Hey," he says. "This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water. Right, Lou?"

I have a friend, a medical examiner, who has an odd way of conducting postmortem procedures.

He keeps flipping the subject over, then back, then over again repeatedly.

He calls it "autopsy-turvy".

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.