Now that all of the coal mines are closed, all of those lumps of coal Santa left me are now worth a fortune!
I think I can corner the market with my supply alone... Thanks Santa!
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet...
I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
How many elves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Twenty! One to change it and nineteen to stand on each other's shoulders.
Do you realize people are prisoners to their phones?
That's why they are called CELL PHONES