Latest Jokes

An explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory. Once all the mess has been cleared up, the inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is brought in to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened?"

"Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up."

"He was smoking in the mixing room?" the investigator said in stunned horror. "How long had he been with the company?"

"About 20 years, sir."

"Twenty years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room. I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done."

"Well... it was, sir."

A class goes on school field trip to a museum. A little boy breaks a vase then reads about it's history. He pretend it never happened. The school went on with the field trip until security stopped the boy and confronted him.

The teacher asks the boy, "Why didn't you tell someone you broke the vase?"

The boy replies, "I didn't think it would matter, it said it was priceless,"

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one...

He's never gonna give you 'Up'!

Whenever I hear the expression, "the bar is high"....

I can't help but think, "Oh great! I need a step-stool just to get a drink?"