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Favorite this joke Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its hot lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for.
Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same nightgown. This confirmed what I suspected all along, that despite being over 50, I still have a very "with it" attitude.
"I see we have the same taste," I said proudly to the 20 something behind me.
"Yes," she replied. "I'm getting this for my grandmother for Christmas."
Christmas is a weird holiday. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
~ Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder.
~ Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
~ Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the games.
~ Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (e.g., "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")
~ Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."
~ Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.
~ Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically, "It didn't work!"
~ Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings!"
One of my friends hates exercise. To her, getting up in the morning is a moving violation.
The only exercise she get is pushing her luck, stretching the truth, and jumping to conclusions.
Although, she has been known to carry a grudge.
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