Latest Jokes

"Hocus Pocus" doesn't work anymore...

I think they changed the password.

Football is a dangerous sport and players can be hurt while playing. During a college game a player was hit pretty hard on one play. The doctor came onto the field as the teammates huddled around them. He asked the player a few questions as he lay on the field.

"What's three plus three?" the doctor asked him.

"Seven."

"What's the capital of the United States?"

"Alabama."

"Which state is farther east, California or Florida?"

"California."

At this point, the doctor thought the player was confused and probably had suffered a brain concussion so he told the coach to take him out of the game.

The coach quickly spoke up. "Don't do that, Doc. Let him play. He's alright. He didn't know that stuff even before he was hit."

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"

Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, "Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?”

The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "Read all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!”

Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work.

"Boss," he said, "the pill my doctor subscribed me actually worked!"

"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"