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Favorite this joke Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The psychiatrist informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. He asks the first patient, "How much is two plus two?"
"Blue."
At which point the doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back to his room. Turning to the second patient, he asks, "What is six minus three?"
To which the patient replies, "Square."
Once again the orderly is called in to remove the patient. Turning to the third and last patient, he asks, "How much is five plus five?
The patient answers very confidently, "Ten."
The doctor, amazed, then inquires, "Very good. How did you figure it out?"
The patient reply, "Easy. Blue multiplied by square equals ten."
A poultry farmer was experimenting to breed turkeys with more legs for greater profits. Finally, he succeeded. While narrating the results to his friends, he told them, "The turkey I bred had six legs!"
His friends, who had gotten quite excited, eagerly asked, "What about the taste?"
The farmer said with a long-drawn face, "I have no idea. Can't catch it."
Smith was always tired. After a while, he became known in the office for dozing off at his desk, sometimes even several times a day. Granted, he had a good reason. His wife had just had twins and he didn't get much sleep at home. But his boss was having none of it. He told Smith that if he was caught sleeping on the job one more time, he would be fired.
That same week, the boss decided to make a surprise visit at Smith's desk, to see if the situation had improved. You can imagine what happened next, he found Smith asleep.
But Smith was a quick thinker. He woke up just in time, remained in his position and calmly delivered the following line that saved his job: "... and I especially thank you for my excellent boss. Amen."
A man walked into a bar with a banana on his head. As he served him, the bartender said, "Look, I don't know if you realize this, but you've got a banana on your head."
"That's okay," said the man. "I always wear a banana on my head on Tuesdays."
"But today's Wednesday," said the bartender.
"It's not, is it?" groaned the man. "Oh no! I must look like a complete idiot!"
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