Latest Jokes

I like the paper my final exam is on.

It fascinates me.

I can sit and stare at it for hours.

During the trade wars of the 18th century, bartering was quite common among seafaring merchants who needed laborers to load and unload their wares at each port. They were willing to trade just about anything to get strong, loyal workers.

At one port, the captain of a merchant ship had his eye on a well-built, muscular potential addition to his crew, whose name was Anwar. He approached Anwar's owner.

"I'll trade you 50 pounds of course-grained igneous quartz rock for Anwar," he proposed.

"What do you think about the offer, Anwar?" his owner asked him.

"If you ask me," Anwar replied," I don't like being taken for granite!"

There once was a Russian guy named Olaf who was mean, rude, and crude. One day his wife and her friend were in the kitchen discussing Christmas. Suddenly Olaf shouted, "It's gonna rain any moment now!"

Next thing you know it starts raining. The wife's friend is shocked. She said, "How in the world did he know that?"

Without missing a beat the wife said to her, "Rude Olaf the Red knows rain dear."

Q: What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.