My wife and I recently took a trip down Route 66. We took side trips if it looked promising. On one of these side trips we passed this quaint country store. Then we kept passing stores similar to that one.
After the third time my wife says out loud, "How many roads does a man have to drive down before he admits he's lost?"
A woman sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.
The man stands and clears his throat, then says "Plethora" and sits back down.
"Thanks," the woman says, "that means a lot."
A hunter lost his bearings and wandered around the forest in a daze. Suddenly, he spotted another man. Dropping his rifle, he threw his arms around the other's neck and screamed, "Boy am I glad to see you! I've been lost in these woods for three days!"
"Restrain yourself," cautioned the other sadly, "I've been lost here for a week."
A friend of mine was telling me that his girlfriend asked him if he would like to spend the weekend watching football games, eating chicken wings, and drinking beer.
This excited my friend because he thought he had found the perfect mate, so he responded with a "YES!" with great enthusiasm.
The girlfriend responded, "Perfect, because I am breaking up with you."