Latest Jokes

"Now, you got to keep away from this guy," the trainer whispered to his fighter. "Jab him and get away or he'll use his right. Don't let him get set up to use his right."

"I understand," said the fighter. "I'll do just like you say. Suppose he does get his right going and hits me clean. What do I do?"

"Nothing," replied the trainer. "Just relax and the referee and I will carry you to your corner."

Johnny whispers into his dad’s ear, "Will you give me ten dollars if I tell you what the man in the uniform says to mom every morning?"

The father takes ten dollars out of his wallet and hands it to the boy. "Now, tell me what he says?"

The boy looks at his dad and says, "Good morning, I’ve got some mail for you."

I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn, because I was taking too long to place my order.

"Take the high road," I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window, I paid for her order along with my own.

The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with a kindness.

When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food, too.

Lesson: Don't honk your horn at old people.