Latest Jokes

3 votes

L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal by Landslide

Patient at Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

3 votes

posted by "merk" |
0 votes

"Mommy, Mommy, my lost parrot Enza has returned home!"

"Oh Freddy, that's wonderful!, what happened?"

"Well, my window was open and in flew Enza!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Dave M." |
0 votes

A (coming of age) talk with his grandson the evening before his graduation from high school.

Paul Revere: I’ll never forget a certain midnight ride. We were on the verge of impending war with the British. The smell of fear and uncertainty lingered in the night air.

Grandson: Grandpa...

Paul Revere: Yes?

Grandson: Who are the British?

0 votes

posted by "Marty" |
2 votes

If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. It's even funnier when they try to avoid stepping on you and fall into a counter or table.

2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.

4. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper.

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "merk" |