Latest Jokes

Gerald and Harold were twins that were inseparable, share and share alike and exact duplicates in everything. As they grew older they had the same hobbies, including fishing. However, when fishing Gerald never seemed to catch fish and Harold always had "fishermen's luck".

One night Gerald stole out of the house with his brother's rod and reel. He went to the exact spot where Harold had caught a dozen trout that afternoon. He fished and fished with not even a nibble.

Just as he was packing to leave a trout leaped out of the water in a perfect arch and cried out solicitously, "Your brother isn't ill I hope?"

I asked my doctor today how long he thought this COVID thing will last...

He said, “How should I know, I’m a doctor not a politician.”

A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces.

The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy.

Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.

"Oh doctor, something is the matter with me, but I don't know what. I feel terrible, but I don't know how. And I have the most awful pain, but I don't know where."

The doctor replied, "Well, I will prescribe something for you, but I don't know what. You will use it for three days, but I don't know how. It will cure you, but I don't know when."