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$12.00 won 7 votes

Barbara was taking her first skydiving lesson. The instructor told her to jump out of the plane and pull her rip cord, explaining that he himself would jump out right behind her so that they would go down together. Barbara understood and was ready.

Just before it was time for Barbara to jump out of the plane, the instructor reminded her that he would be right behind her. She jumped, and, after being in the air for a few seconds, pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed her out of the plane.

He pulled his rip cord but the parachute didn't open. As he struggled to pull the emergency rip cord, he shot downward and darted past Barbara. Seeing this, Barbara quickly undid the straps to her own parachute, and yelled after him, "So you wanna race, huh?!"

7 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "ELECTION " |
$10.00 won 6 votes
 

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay.

Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

6 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
5 votes

"Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Do you drink?"

"No."

"Do you eat hay, then?"

"No."

"Man, you're not a fit companion for man or beast."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
4 votes

Patient: Doctor, I'm thinking that I may be losing my hearing.

Doctor: Can you tell me what you know of the symptoms?

Patient: Homer is bald and fat, Marge has blue hair...

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |