Online Teacher: Johnny, you didn't complete the assignment I sent to your email box last week. Did you get the email?
Johnny: You'll have to ask the N.S.A., they read my emails so I don't need to. I figured if an email is important they'll let me know.
Teacher: Tell the N.S.A. they're getting an incomplete on this assignment and they better pay closer attention next time or they'll fail my class.
Mother: Stop that water fighting!
Son: She started it!
Daughter: I did not!
Mother: There’s only one way to settle this... divide the pool in half and each of you stay in your half.
Son: That’s okay with me... I’ll take the top half!
Some of my friends started a company built around an innovative idea for an online business. A debate broke out about what to name the venture.
"We have to call it Imagination," one passionate participant cried out.
Everyone thought the idea over for a minute, and then a voice of reason replied, "Are you sure you want your business card to read 'Imagination, Limited'?"
What do you call a priest who returns stuff to the store?
Holy redeemer.