Latest Jokes

I used to think drinking was bad for me.

So I gave up thinking.

I asked my wife to buy a single thyme plant while she was at the nursery, because that's all the room I have left in my planter.

She came back with two plants because they were on sale.

I guess she two thymed me.

"Why does Grandma spray Windex all over her Medicare co-pay invoices?"

"She said she wants a clean bill of health."

Little Penny sees Little Millie coming back from girl scouts with several new badges.

Penny: "Say, what didja get that badge for?"

Millie: "For singing."

Penny: "Ooh, nice! And what didja get that badge for?"

Millie: "For not singing anymore."