I used to think drinking was bad for me.
So I gave up thinking.
I asked my wife to buy a single thyme plant while she was at the nursery, because that's all the room I have left in my planter.
She came back with two plants because they were on sale.
I guess she two thymed me.
"Why does Grandma spray Windex all over her Medicare co-pay invoices?"
"She said she wants a clean bill of health."
Little Penny sees Little Millie coming back from girl scouts with several new badges.
Penny: "Say, what didja get that badge for?"
Millie: "For singing."
Penny: "Ooh, nice! And what didja get that badge for?"
Millie: "For not singing anymore."