Latest Jokes

A mother walks into her own bedroom and is surprised to catch her 10 year old daughter reading her diary. Startled, she just stands there.

"You were right mom," says the daughter. "Reading is fun."

Victim: "Hey, that wasn't the tooth I wanted pulled!"

Dentist: "Calm yourself, I'm coming to it."

So my life has been in turmoil and one night, before I went to sleep, I asked the universe to fix me...

The universe delivered.

When I woke up, I had been neutered.

Question: What do you get when you mix vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia?

Answer: A Phillips' screwdriver.