Latest Jokes

So my life has been in turmoil and one night, before I went to sleep, I asked the universe to fix me...

The universe delivered.

When I woke up, I had been neutered.

Question: What do you get when you mix vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia?

Answer: A Phillips' screwdriver.

At school, Little Johnny’s teacher is explaining the meaning of the word instinct to the class.

Little Johnny isn’t paying attention, so the teacher asks him what does instinct mean.

Little Johnny says, “It’s when the person in front of you farts.”

Did you know that camel cigarettes are mentioned in the Bible?

Genesis 24:64 (KJV)

And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
———

Honda cars are also in the Bible! They’re so quiet, they’re good for praying in.

Acts 1:14 (KJV)

These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.