Mindy: "I think I'm going to divorce my husband. He hasn't spoken to me in days."
Missy: "Are you sure? Men like that are hard to find."
I went to visit a psychic today.
I knocked on the door and she called out, "Who is it?"
So I left.
Every time I get a headache I take 2 Ibuprofen and keep away from my children...
Just like the bottle says.
I'm retired.
I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.