Latest Jokes

$5.00 won 1 votes

Little Timmy loved his dog Laddie very much; they played together every day and Laddie was always there to greet Timmy when he came home from school.

One day, while Timmy was at school, Laddie crawled under the fence, ran out into the street and was hit by a car and killed. Timmy's mother, naturally, was very distressed, not only by the matter itself but from wondering how she was going to explain this to Timmy. As Timmy walked through the door a few moments later, his mother mustered up her courage to speak to him.

"Son, I have bad news. Laddie is dead."

Timmy paused thoughtfully for a moment, shrugged, then said, "So, what's for lunch, Ma? I'm starved."

"My, what a brave little boy you are!" his mother replies with relief. "You're certainly taking Laddie's death well."

Upon hearing this, Timmy suddenly bursts into tears, his body racking with sobs, and says, "I thought you said Daddy."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
$25.00 won 1 votes

There once was a butcher named Herman who was famous for his fresh made turkey pies. Customers used to come from miles away to taste his pies. However, after a while, they had noticed that the pies didn't taste quite as good as they used to.

Hoping to get to the bottom of this matter, a customer approaches Herman one day and says, "Herman, I've noticed that lately your pies seem to taste different. Have you changed the recipe?"

"Well, just between you and me," Herman replies. "The pies have been in such high demand that there haven't been enough turkeys to go around, so I've been mixing in a bit of horse meat."

"Horse meat!" the customer echoes in shock. "How much?"

"Oh, about fifty-fifty." Herman replies.

"Fifty-fifty?"

"One horse to one turkey."

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
$7.00 won 1 votes

The American Academy of Ophthalmology just released a report that stated not enough ophthalmologist will be in practice in the next five years to serve the public need.

They cite the fact that not enough pupils are graduating.

Their past recruiting had been short sighted.

1 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Trekie" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

Scientific Golf facts:

New golf balls have a strong attraction to water, and the power of the attraction is directly proportionate to how much the balls cost.

With golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the quick groups are always behind you.

Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly, and the golfers lie well.

2 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |