In the daily briefing for the weather the weather man suggested with 100% certainty that the forecast for the afternoon call for heavy rains.
Assistant: "Are you positive, sir?"
Weatherman: "Yes indeed. I've lost my umbrella, I got my car washed on the way in, I'm going golfing, and my wife's giving a lawn party."
Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confronted by a policeman.
"Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?" asked the policeman.
Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said, "No, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer."
"The second followed his lead and said, "My names is William, W.H. Smith."
The third said, "My name is Ken... Ken Tuckyfriedchicken!"
Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name.
Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said.
"Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco."