Two deer hunters hired a pilot to take them way back into the forest. After the hunt, the pilot returned and saw that they shot six deer.
"The plane won't carry six deer, you'll have to leave two of them," said the pilot, trying to be friendly.
Unwilling to leave their dead deer, the hunters said "We got six on the plane last year."
The pilot gave in, and just five minutes after takeoff the plane crashed into the forest. Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, "Any idea where we are?"
The second hunter said, "Yeah, right about where our plane went down last year."
On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon my buddy and I stood on the first tee of our Golf Club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding dress came running up to him, crying.
She slaps him in the face, turns, and runs away.
My buddy turns to me and says calmly, "I don't know what her problem is. I distinctly told her only if it rained."
Harry was a compulsive gambler who would bet on anything — cards, horses, roulette, dogs, football, baseball, dice, basketball. One day after a run of bad luck, he said to his best friend, “Buddy, I hate asking you this, but I need $3,000 urgently. We’ve got no food in the house, I owe three months rent, the kids need new clothes, and my wife is too ashamed to go out because we have bad checks at every store in town. Is there any way you can help me out?”
The friend thought for a moment before writing Harry a check for $4,000 so that he could get back on his feet. “But, there’s one condition,” he said. “I don’t want you use the money for gambling.”
“No worries,” said Harry. “I’ve got money put aside for that.”