A teenage foreign exchange student knew the metric system as well as European colloquialism and slang but he wasn’t well versed with imperial measurement or the use of North American English.
When the exchange student wanted to know what a foot is, the boy that helped him only added to his confusion by saying. “I can give you a hand with that.”
Norma and Sonia were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays. Norma said, "My daughter-in-law stopped making my grandchildren send their 'thank you' notes. Each year I sent the grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I always received a lovely `thank you' note. However, since my daughter-in-law stopped making the grandkids send thank you notes, I never hear from them."
Sonia said, "My daughter-in-law never made the grandchildren send `thank you' notes. I too send them a very generous check. However, for the past several years, I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit."
"Wow," remarked Norma. "I wish mine would do that."
"You can, Norma, you can."
"How?" Norma asked
"Simple. Do what I do. Don't sign the check."
In every Human Resources report, there is a reason for termination. There are so many possibilities, that we have narrowed the list down to Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs:
Happy: Had trouble putting nose to the grindstone. Too much time spent telling jokes at the water cooler.
Doc: Left to pursue further schooling, in particular, Ph.D. work.
Sleepy: Chronically late for work. Caused many project delays.
Grumpy: Poor attitude toward work. Not a team player. Trouble with early mornings.
Dopey: Made several critical errors at work costing the company money, e.g., misappropriated company funds.
Sneezy: Recurrent, chronic illness has made it difficult for the employee to complete work in a timely fashion.
Bashful: Lack of initiative. Not willing to make cold calls. Too often let workplace disagreements simmer.
Jealous Queen: Heavy involvement in the occult not congruent with organizational policies.
Snow White: Misconduct, e.g., kissing strange men while under some kind of trance.