Latest Jokes

I was going to post a time-traveling joke...

But you guys didn't like it.

As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.

"I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to the boys. "You eat it for me."

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys. He shook his head. "I can't," he said.

"Why not?"

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."

A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"

"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."

"Never heard of him. What did he write?"

"A big check," replied the guide.