Latest Jokes

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away... "Hello! We're down here..."

Teacher: Why are you late?

Little Johnny: There was an old man that lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: Were you helping him search for it? How nice of you.

Little Johnny: Actually I was sitting on it, waiting for him to give up searching and leave.

For the second week in a row, my son and I were the only ones who showed up for his soccer team’s practice.

Frustrated I told him, “Please tell your coach that we keep coming for practice, but no one is ever here.”

My son rolled his eyes and said, ”He’ll just tell me the same thing he did before.”

“Which was?”

“That practice is now on Wednesdays, not Tuesdays.”

Donald: I’d like to tell you a joke about the measles, but I’d better not.

Mike: Why not?

Donald: You know how those things spread.