My son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
He considered this for a moment and replied, “When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.”
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?"
After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!"
At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on a radio link.
When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
USA Today: We're Dead
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Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour
Readers Digest: Bye
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Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 lbs By Judgment Day With Our New "Armageddon" Diet!
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