Mindy: "I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
I always keep my guitar in the car now.
It's good for traffic jams.
Harold comes home from work one day. "I'm home, honey!" he says to his wife Joan. "You can serve the salad."
Joan tilts her head curiously. "How did you know we were having salad, dear?"
Harold replies, "I didn't smell anything burning."
Grandma: "Remember, Johnny, we should never put off til tomorrow what we can do today."
Little Johnny: "Okay, Grandma, that makes good sense, we'd better eat the rest of the cake then."