Latest Jokes

$6.00 won 7 votes

Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my own picture in it...

Guess I really am... Independent!

7 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
2 votes

A Latin man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can’t find what he’s looking for and he doesn’t know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, “Tienes calcetines?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is,” the salesperson says.

The guy tries again. “Medias?” he asks, miming pulling up socks. The salesperson brings him to the trouser section. “No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero medias, calcetines,” he says.

And so it goes for nearly 30 minutes. Finally, almost by accident, the salesperson leads him to the sock section.
The Spanish guy, excited, points and shouts, “Eso sí que es!”

The salesperson’s jaw drops and he says, “Well, why didn’t you TELL me you knew how to spell it?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes
 

Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."

"But you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it?"

"Simple... If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 6 votes

"Man, me and my wife had a fight yesterday."

"Oh yea, about what?"

"You see, I wanted to watch the game but she wanted to watch a movie."

"So, how was the movie?"

6 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Jenmo1" |