Latest Jokes

"Do you remember first meeting your wife?"

"Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again."

"Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her."

"Not really. Jill hated to give up bowling."

I told my wife I had a crush on Beyoncé.

She replied with, “Well, whatever floats your boat.”

I'm confused because that's Buoyancy.

For her birthday present, I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.

Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

A little boy asked his grandmother what year she was born.

She told him she was born in 1935.

"Wow!" the boy exclaimed. "If you were a baseball card, you'd be worth lots of money!"