Latest Jokes

$50.00 won 3 votes

A witch was flying her broom along when she noticed that all the other witches were flying on vacuum cleaners.

She thought, "Am I the only one still driving a stick?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "I am innocent" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced.

Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.

"Strike one!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed.

"Strike two!" he cried.

The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed.

"Strike three!"

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest PITCHER in the world!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

Harry the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel.

"Hello," says the angel. "I'm your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a few moments you'll be entering through our famous Pearly Gates for the most fantastic adventure you've ever experienced. You'll have a chauffeur driven limousine service anywhere in the universe, plus deluxe accommodations at our luxury hotel with all the amenities -- pool, Jacuzzi, indoor tennis courts, and more. Then after your day of relaxation, dine at any of our 5-star restaurants savoring the finest of any cuisine known to man."

At this point, Harry gives his wife a shove in the ribs with his elbow. "If it wasn't for you and that stupid oat bran, we'd have been here ten years ago!"

1 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

My new AARP membership arrived in today’s mail as a scratch & sniff card.

I scratch my head over saving a buck on a hotel room and sniff back the tears of joining the blue-haired 4:45 dinner special.

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Wano U" |