The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”
“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.
“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”
“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
For years my sister’s husband tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to get a hearing aid.
“How much do they cost?” she asked one day after he had pitched the idea to her again.
“They’re usually about $3000,” he said.
“Okay, well if you say something worth $3000,” she replied, “I’ll get one.”