Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 8 votes

The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”

“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.

“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”

“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

8 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
5 votes

A couple of guys were discussing the latest play showing in the theater.

"I saw the first act, but not the second."

"Why not?"

"I couldn't wait that long. It said on the program that the second act was two years later."

5 votes

posted by "Pshark1998" |
3 votes
 

A load of irons were stolen from a launderette...

Police want to do a press conference.

3 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "fraseyboy1" |
5 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

For years my sister’s husband tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to get a hearing aid.

“How much do they cost?” she asked one day after he had pitched the idea to her again.

“They’re usually about $3000,” he said.

“Okay, well if you say something worth $3000,” she replied, “I’ll get one.”

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |