A dirty little boy was playing at the playground and walked up to his mother and asked, "Who am I?"
The mother replied, "I don't know! Who are you?"
The little boy said excitedly, "WOW! My teacher was right. She said that I was so dirty that even my own mother wouldn't recognize me."
One Saturday Little Johnny went fishing at a pond that was close to his house. After a couple hours of fishing the owner of the pond approached and indicated to Little Johnny that there was a "No Fishing" sign.
Little Johnny replied, "Well the fellow that printed that sign knew what he was talking about."
A tourist is visiting a big metropolitan city when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood.
About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk.
He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!"
"Okay," the man says, "you take the front and I'll take the back."