Latest Jokes

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A customer to the bartender, as he tries to convince him that he is not drunk... "I feel more like I do now than I did when I came in here!"

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Quantum321" |
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Sitting on the couch waiting for dinner, I thought I heard the wife ask which did I want for dinner, "beef, chicken or fish?"

Since it had been a while since I had any, I replied, "fish!"

Apparently that was the wrong answer. The reply I got was that I was getting "soup" as she was talking to the cat.

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CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
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Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married ten years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food."

The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"

The first one replied, "Oh, no. Not in the slightest."

"You must be a saint!" commented the second.

To which the first woman replied, "Why should I object? A lot of people don't like their own cooking."

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posted by "HENNE" |
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In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.

An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked.

"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it!"

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |